Joke #1

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"


xD

Not that funny.


A man and woman are having an anniversary dinner, when the man says,"I bet you can't say something that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

The woman says,"You have a bigger penis than your brother."

Neku wrote:

Not that funny.


A man and woman are having an anniversary dinner, when the man says,"I bet you can't say something that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

The woman says,"You have a bigger penis than your brother."

Haha!

Took me a while to figure out what the sad part was. Then LOL'd

I liked Neku's joke better. Afternoon's was still good too though.

Neku nice one :O

Just make this a place where you post all of your jokes.

Neku's is hilarious. Not so much on the other.

Women are like Hurricanes they come wet and wild but when they leave they take your house and cars

I just thought up this one a few days ago so I don't know if this is really funny or not. There are different versions of the joke I thought up. This is one of them.

A vampire walks up to a girl and says, "I vant to suck your blood"
The girl says, "go away"
The vampire asks, "What, isn't it that time of the month?"

i dont understand.

XD XD XD OMG!!

it's not that funny but i get the joke O.o

What's the difference between a hot dog on my plate and my penis?
I don't make a habit of playing with my food.

What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
Both spend alot of time on their knees saying "oh god, oh god", but only one of them gets paid for it and the other one's an even BIGGER dickrider.
Get it?

What's the difference between a nerd and my penis?
When you beat up on the nerd he wont stand up for himself.

What's the difference between a jew and a slut? At least when the slut screws you you're actually GETTING something. Get it?

whats the difference between a tranny and a taco?
when you go down on a taco you WANT there to be meat there

What's the difference between a pediatrist and a pedophile?
When the pediatrist tells you to say ahh you dont freak out

What happens when you give a politician Viagra? He gets taller.

Let me explain the Jew joke. The joke is saying that when you screw a slut, you may be getting an STD, but at least you're GETTING something. It's also saying that when a Jew screws you they screw you over and you LOSE everything. Just a joke.

Possibly some sort of bump record? I mean, DAMN, that's almost a year.

lol mmmagus1....watch racism. I know its only a joke but still. its the rules.

come on diggy. you know im just fuckin around. and besides: it was the explanation that was REALLY racist, not the joke itself.